I think I'm just mostly angry at him. He knows it's wrong, but just like the rest of the sheep he is incredibly able to justify his sin.
My mom calls him a bleeding wound that bleeds money. He gets tickets like it's going out of style, he steals money and credit cards. He smells like pot- he uses all of us.
If you hold a problem close up to a person do they see it? It's amazing how he'll try to turn it around and make it a "parenting issue". Our parents are too mean to him and they don't understand him and can't grasp how "enlightened" he is. I'm not quite sure when being a junkie was being intelligent. No matter what.
I can't tell you how much I hate this. How much I hate the lies that come out of his mouth. I want to slap him. It's that bad. It feels the same as when we were younger and I got mad at him for something and I was able to grab him by the hair or scratch him with my nails. I wish I could do that again. Maybe it would make a difference. If I could just grab his hair hard enough or scratch him to make him bleed, he would change.
9 years ago