Thursday, September 03, 2009

The Happiest Place on Earth

Not that all of you out there in INTERWEB world were dying to read my next post, but I know that I was saying "1,000 words a day!". Rest assured I have been writing, just not publishing articles on here. You can go ahead a breathe that HUGE sigh of relief now. Go ahead...  I know you put other things in your life on the back burner waiting to hear what I would have to say. You can pick up your kids from the Grandparent's house, feed your dogs and cats and finally finish your cup of coffee.

In all honesty I have struggled with topics, I think I'll be asking for your help soon. I needed a bit of inspiration and yesterday it came! A sweeping, nostalgic muse came to visit me. To be more accurate, I visited it. Through the turnstiles of Disneyland we go...

Our dentist is in Foothill Ranch and I had my cleaning appointment yesterday. Instead of getting back on the 91 eastbound in rush hour traffic I decided to take the kids to Disneyland. I knew the crowds were going to be down because everyone is back to school and the stampede of Annual Pass-holders has come and gone. Josiah, as always, has interesting commentary as soon as he sees the entrance. "Mom, we have to park on the Mickey level." Sorry kid, Donald Level it is. We managed to get right on the tram. We usually walk from the structure to the parks, but a request came for the "Tram Ride". Bathrooms were not full, there was room to watch the Celebrate parade (where we sat with a cool Australian family) and Halloween stuff is on it's way!

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="448" caption="Soon and very soon it will be Halloween at the parks. "]Soon and very soon it will be Halloween at the parks. [/caption]

We walked onto several rides. We strolled on over to Toontown to see the main mouse himself. Josiah ran to him and hugged him. Then got instantly shy. Mae stood and stared at Mickey Mouse unsure of his motives (the guy is the CEO of a HUGE corporation) . Josiah gave Mickey a casual "See you tomorrow" bye and we were off once again in the heat. We ate a "cheap" (by Disneyland standards) dinner of turkey dog from a hole in the wall "Pluto's Dog House" in Toontown. Bathroom break and then flying to Fantasyland. We never go over there. I don't know why. I guess I have better things to do in the park. My kids aren't big dark ride fans. It's not that they are scared, I just don't think they are thrilled with them the way they are by the animatronic or "thrill" rides. I also think that Josiah isn't as familiar with the content. Who the heck is this Mr.Toad and where is his Pixar film?? I'm thankful for my parent's vast video collection of classic Disney movies to introduce my kids to my old pals... that should snag them into Fantasyland more often! You could walk right onto "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" ( you know the one where Disney literally sends you to hell? It's a happy, jolly hell, but eternal damnation just the same).

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="The effects of slamming your head on a steering wheel can be seen here."]The effects of slamming your head on a steering wheel can be seen here.[/caption]

Josiah even managed to have his head slammed into the steering wheel on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, giving him a bloody lip. I don't think the Cast Member noticed (it was his fault, for some reason our lap bar came up before we came to a complete stop) or we might have had a different experience... maybe free frozen bananas care of the mouse himself? :) He cried for a second and then we walked over to the Carousel. Mae was quite thrilled with this! She's such a Princess... I mean that in a good way. All things pretty and proper. Not spoiled and demanding. She sat on her horse the whole time and looked around... surveying her kingdom and all who she rules over with kindness and compassion: "Hello royal subjects! Enjoy your day! Look at me! Aren't I great? I mean my diaper is a little soggy, but nothing a little royal change won't take care of!"

Our journey continued into the Bippity Boppity Boutique where I pretended to have $65.00 for a costume for my daughter. There was a Mom in there happily picking out an outfit for her daughter,

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="250" caption="I'll be sewing one, Thank you very much."]Ill be sewing one, Thank you very much.[/caption]

fake Belle hair and all! The sting of jealousy pierced my heart! That wasn't very Princess-like. I left feeling ready to sew up a custom costume for my little Princess. She will be one of a kind you hear me!?!

Off to Frontierland through the Carnation Plaza. It's already crazy along the Rivers of America because everyone is waiting for Fantasmic! to start. Apparently the dragon (known as Murphy) is supposed to be working that night. They've updated him and had major issues with him complying with the demanding Disney work load. What a diva. I decided not to watch Fantasmic! and to jump on Pirates... here thar be air conditioning, mateys! Clearly I enjoy watching my children suffer small traumas because I turn on my cell phone just to see Mae's face as we speed down the hill into all that pirate cursed goodness. Sheer terror/fun. I love my kids. They are pretty stinkin' hardcore. Josiah decides that Pirates aren't such bad guys after all. "Pirates are pretty good guys." Sure. if you don't count that whole dunking the town's mayor into the drinking water well and selling women

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="Murphy the Diva... Check out for more info."]Murphy the Diva... Check out for more info.[/caption]

to your fellow pirate scum. I practically drag my children off the ride and sprint for our stroller knowing that now is the time for escape! I couldn't deal with the idea of being swallowed by the crowd of Fantastic Fanstasmic Fans! We made it safely to main street (Can I just say that there is nothing like Main Street at night? Perfecto!) and went for ice cream Mickey Mouse Cookies. The line at the Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor looked like the line for Space Mountain on 4th of July. No thank you! I'll have two terrible tasting cookies, please next door at the Carnation Cafe.  In Disney's defense I love some of their deserts, particularly the cinnamon rolls, but these shortbread cookies tasted like the napkins look, brown and recycled. Mae also partook of a few napkin bites before I could stop her. So even she couldn't tell the difference. We played near the flag on Main Street waiting for the fireworks. Where Josiah told Mae "Get up Mae. Princesses don't crawl. They walk." ♥

We watched the show for awhile and then headed into the costume/Halloween store. I talked to a great Cast Member about Halloween events. We were rudely interrupted by a wealthy and entitled woman who shoved a cheshire cat onto the cast member's back and said "Ring this up." I let her know she was rude. She told me that the cast member wasn't there for my personal pleasure (Wrong. She is actually. Was the cast member there for only her pleasure?) "Mrs. Wonderful Guest/Mother flipped out on me. I told her she was making quality memories for her wide-eyed 8 year old daughter. I was super calm the whole time. I looked up at her to give her a patented Leigh stare down. With eyes this big they've got to be good for something. She flipped me off. I told her to chill out and that she was at Disneyland and once again reminded her of her daughter's Disneyland memories. She hates me. I'm sure of it. Good. In your face lady!  Nothing like a good ole' fashion Disneyland throw down!

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="450" caption="How the fight was going to go down."]How the fight was going to go down.[/caption]

I was ready to mow her over with my double stroller!  The cast member approached me a moment later and apologized and thanked me for standing up for her. I told her that she was great at her job and I said that I'm sorry she has to deal with rude people like that. I then left the store and started crying and shaking. I get like that after confrontations... I'm a big wiener under my "tough guy" facade... I hope that most of the people that saw me on the way back just thought the fireworks display really touched my heart and reignited my child like spirit.

Finally arriving at the car, our faithful little Honda, I loaded kids, strollers and myself. Josiah looks at me (Mae is out like a light, by the way) and says "I love you too much, Mom." That right there my friends is why I'm willing to walk through crowds, wait in lines, pay too much for a turkey dog, and fight with the rude women of this world! I love Disneyland.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="284" caption="Child-wrangling with Mickey."]Child-wrangling with Mickey.[/caption]


Nichole said...

I'm so sad I missed that showdown.

admin said...

You could have been my back up!

Molly said...

No lie, I totally look forward to your blog posts. Way to take on the rude lady. I went to the state fair (could probably be equated to the Disneyland of the Midwest with more food and fewer rides) today and had to take on some rude teenagers. Luckily it didn't escalate as much as your experience did. Thanks for the post!

Bonni said...

I am in awe that Disneyland still has Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Central Floridians everywhere cried when they removed the ride from the Magic Kingdom... Must. Get. Self. To. Disneyland.

admin said...

Molly- I'm so glad that even though we are separated by many states we can stay in touch and know what's going on in each other's lives. I miss you friend!
Bonni- Get yourself a pass! You can pay for entrance on one day and then pay monthly for an Annual Pass! We can go together.

admin said...

P.S. Bonni, what ride did they replace it with? I mean, that's pretty iconic even if people don't know the movie they know the ride. Why did they remove it?