Friday, October 23, 2009

broken.

"For this child we prayed and the Lord hath given us our petition which we have asked of Him."

1 Sam 1:27

Not quite sure how to start this entry other than just diving in and saying that my heart is heavy this week. Something happened and I can't shake it off. Many of you know about my cousin who had a baby in her home after waiting and waiting for an adoption. Her and her husband were thrilled! He was a wonderful addition to their family. Tuesday they found out the birth mother had returned and wanted her baby back. The social workers came and picked up the newborn and took him back to his birth mother.

That's the abbreviated version. Out of respect for my cousin and her husband I don't want to share more than that. When she called to tell me about the baby being given back, my heart broke. How do you face an empty nursery and all the diapers, blankets and bottles that have found their way into your home? I don't know. I kept praying peace for them and I couldn't find it in my own heart. This is one of the few times that I can honestly say that I don't understand God's purpose. To me it sounds like a cliche that Christians throw out to make the world a little brighter. The last thing on God's green earth I would want to hear was "It will be O.K. God has a plan and he'll bring you the right baby."  That just makes me groan.

In all of this I've been thinking about the privilege of motherhood. It's not something that you deserve, it's not something you take lightly. There are so many women out there who can't have babies and cry out like Hannah for one. Enjoy your little ones and give them time because there are so many women out there who would gladly trade you spots.

No comments: