Last night I took Josiah to see Iron Man 2. Yeah, I know. It's PG-13. I'm aware of explosions and the few bad words. I already saw it, I knew when the bad words were coming. I know what my child can handle. The kid has seen Star Wars, I think he can do comic book robot violence. Before we went to the theater, I stopped by Vons to get some snacks and pick up juice. There was a Mom behind me in line, who's eyes I could feel burning into the back of my skull. She had to of been an Orange County transplant. She had on a huge winter jacket for the mild cold that was outside (this is a yearly phenomena in the OC, right when everyone who lives in real weather need jackets and coats, the Orange County Housewives bust our their winter wear despite the 80 degree weather). She also looked way too put together to be at the grocery store. Josiah was very, very excited to see Iron Man and kept getting out of the cart. At one point he fell out of the car part of the cart.
"UH-OH!" She exclaimed. I looked down at him and he smiled I told Orange County housewife:
"He's fine. He's smiling."
"Well that's a good sign." she says.
At this point I'm realizing that she thinks I'm a bad parent. I ignore her and hand my coupons over. I'm sure that offended her sensibilities,too. You only love your family if you pay full price, right? The cashier is talking to me and asks how my Mother's Day was and I let him know it was good and then I tell him Josiah and I are on our way to see Iron Man.
"How old is he?" OC face asks.
Now she's really onto me. I'm taking him to a blowing-up movie. I had just clarified to the cashier I had already seen the movie and knew when to cover his eyes and ears. Here's the kicker- Josiah had a Star Wars gun with him. I'm sure her pedicured & manicured sons were not allowed to play manly and have a gun (NOTE: I have seen small boys getting manicures when we lived in OC). My son had also dressed himself for this outing. Flannel shirt. Shorts on backwards. Shark slippers that light up. PERFECT. I have bigger fish to fry, why do battle about wardrobe?
After paying .23¢ for 5 bottles of juice & snacks for the movies (BOOYAH!), we were out the door. As I was loading my bundle of Iron Man energy into the car, I could feel her staring at me from across the parking lot. I felt like giving her the one finger salute. Who the heck did she think she was? Hasn't she ever seen an excited kid before (I'm sure if her kids get excited, she just medicates them)?
This whole experience didn't really make me mad, I actually enjoyed it. I was having fun being a parent, my kid was behaving, but being a boy. She probably had so many standards for her kids and they way the looked, what they wore, what toys they had that were all very superficial. She didn't approve of me. That was quite obvious. I don't care. Sorry Orange County Housewife. Sorry I offended you........ *not really* Mwahahaha.
4 years ago