Born To Resist

C.S. Lewis said it best (of course, right?), “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” These mortal transports are merely a blip on the map of our eternal journey. In our very original design, where God walked with us in the garden and we had a perfect communion with Him, we were every bit harmonizing with Him. Never separated, not left behind. Here and now where our broken and sinful natures exist, we are confounded and brutalized by death. If you don’t believe that a reigning Christ is on the other side waiting with arms outstretched for you, it’s a bleak and horrifying prospect to die. You realize that all of your earthly pursuits mean nothing and were a vain attempt to distract. That you’ve been so wrapped up in your sin to realize that God has been there the whole time offering you the very life that you’ve wanted.

Eternity has been set in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). We are “forever”. We are to be restored and given a home with Jesus, which He has prepared. At some point in my life, my picture of heaven went from being golden streets and doing what I never imagined possible, to falling down and worshipping the Savior that claimed my soul and wrote my name in His book. I look forward to handing my crown right back to Him.

Whether we are believers or not, our souls cry out and ache in every way knowing that someone we love is gone. The only difference is the hope that a Christian has found in the blood of Jesus. I know that someday when I die, I’ll see the people that I love the most in heaven. No one can take that away from me. So, today, if you’re hurting because you don’t know what to expect, let Jesus take care of that. Let Him give you every confidence that death won’t sting because He is victorious over it.

and the longer i live
the stronger i feel a
creator put us here
and the day will come,
gravity will run
and we’ll meet you in the air
where face to face we will wonder

as the mysteries come undone

and at the end of all our travels
we find our journey’s just begun

- Forever Man, Newsboys

Walgreens was good to me last night. When you’re good to mama, mama is good to you. Sorry, I thought I would sprinkle my blog with a little Broadway pizzaz.

Here’s what I did in 2 transactions to maximize my savings (you’ve got to be bold to be a coupon lady):

2 Boxes of Rice Crisipies 2/$5.00

1 Schick Hydro Razor $7.99

Purina One 60 oz Dog Food $1.99

Airwick Mini $4.99

Used:

-$1/2 Boxes of Rice Crispies

-$5/1 Hydro Razor

-Free bag of dog food coupon

-$4/1 Airwick mini

Total: $7.98 (before tax) Got back $4 in Register Rewards

2nd Transaction:

2 Pampers Jumbo Packs

2 Pampers Wipes

Plus 2 filler items: Peanut M&Ms for my loyal co-shopper, Josiah.

Used:

-$3/1 Pampers (from a mailer), $1.50/1 Pampers

-2 Free wipes when you purchase any Pampers diapers

-$4 in Register Rewards from first transaction

Total: $10.48 before tax! Got $3 in Register Rewards back

If I had walked into Walgreens to purchase all of this without coupons & sales, my total would have been: $59.52!!!

Instead I paid $18.46 and got back $3!

Couponing is very, very worth it.

Here’s another bit of pizzaz, Broadway style!

(well, not really, I think this was in England, but still… it’s Ewan McGregor and Jane Krakowski!)

Francis Chan has been kicking my butt lately. Every.Stinking.Time.I.Listen.To.Him. The basic equation comes out to: Way more Jesus, way less me.

In that vein, I bring up a difficult situation. My Grandma Hazel is in her last bit of life here on earth. While I’m sad, I’m not torn up. I’m not torn apart. My Grandma believes in Jesus and I think that she’s ready to go see Him face to face. I did have a dream about her last night and I woke up recalling sweet memories of being a child in my Grandma’s little tiny single wide trailer. I’ve had to bring these to the surface and remember her for them. You see, my Grandmother wasn’t the best Mom to her own children and she was not always the greatest to my Mom later in her life. I didn’t know this until I got older and more aware of relationships. But- and I say this with confidence, she was a fantastic Grandma to have as a kid. I think she may have sought certain redemption in us grandkids that she needed after neglecting her own children.

Let me say that my Grandma taught me an incredibly valuable lesson that I carry in my heart to this day. I had a “Jesus Loves the Little Children” book at her house. There was a picture of a little Native American boy with his bow and arrow. I get sort of foggy when I think about what I asked or how it came up, but I asked about “Indians being bad”. A very black and white stereotype that I had seen on TV and cartoons. Cowboys were good. Indians were bad. My Grandma Hazel’s answer is still very crystal clear to me “It doesn’t matter what color skin you have, it’s what’s on the inside. Everyone is different. Jesus loves them all and so should we.” BANG! A lesson in racism from your Grandma! It was simple, it was Christian, it was suitable for my young heart. I couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. Knowing now that my Grandma only ever had a middle school edcuation at best, I know that this was her heart speaking. Not anything that had been taught to her. What a simple summation of how to love others & that it’s not our job to judge people based on the outside.

Other memories:

-She would make fried Cheerios when I stayed the night. Sounds gross, but it’s FANTASTIC.

- Going to church with her on the Church bus. What a treat! No normal car ride to church for me! I’ll take the bus with all the Saints Alive Seniors!

-I always slept on a fold out couch at her trailer and one night she sat on the end of the bed and fell through… haha. Awesome.

-She always sent birthday cards with $1 in them.

-When she bought me my favorite teddy bear, Smokey.

-Sitting in church with her and she would slip me some communion, even though I wasn’t suppose to have it. Mwahaha.

- She always had Trident gum in her purse and always made sure we got a piece.

-Going to potlucks at her trailer park. Man, it’s the best to be a cute little girl with pigtails at a trailer park pot luck and get all the attention from all the other Grandmas!

-When I got my driver’s license I would drive her to hair appointments and to lunch dates.

I know that my Grandma was an incredibly flawed person who let her demons and desires get in the way of being the person God wanted her to be. I also know that she did love Jesus. I am glad she was my Grandma. She loved me and I loved her. Someday when we’re all in heaven together, maybe she’ll make fried Cheerios for me and Jesus.

*Background: Our 5th anniversary is this October, so I jokingly sent Cameron a link to Fred Meyer Jewelers where we got our wedding rings from*

Me:http://www.fredmeyerjewelers.com/Categories/EW_AnniversaryRings.aspx
Just thinking.
Cameron:haha
yes you are
Me:I mean, I’ve managed to stay with you for five years.
Cameron:haha
well we’ll see how it goes
haha
Me:i’ll get you one, too.
for your pinky
Cameron:YES

I’ve prayed for God to provide me with an awesome Pinky ring full of diamonds

Me: dear Lord Jesus, please bless this little pinky finger of mine with a plethora of beautiful diamonds to shine with your glory. AMEN.
Cameron: that was my exact prayer
just doing my “praying things into existence” time with God
Me: I love you for saying that.

That cat is mostly out of the bag. I mean, it’s sort of lounging in it, cleaning it’s paws, but everyone knows it’s coming.

We’re moving to LA. We’ve been called to minister to the city. It’s a little bizarre. A family of four moving from the suburbs to the city, usually it’s the other way around. We’re downsizing & minimizing. Not exactly “moving on up”. However, Cameron and I are both confident that we’ve been sent into the middle of a city that hugely influences the culture in the rest of the country to be a part of it and show it some love. We’ve found a fantastic church, Reality LA that LOVES JESUS so much. We were first invited to visit by two people at the Song of Solomon conference in February. They even enthusiastically said: “We even have a children’s ministry! It’s small, but we have one!” I owe these two volunteers a great deal with changing out lives.

I never thought that I would end up in a big city, they use to give me a huge sense of dread. Even New York City, for all of it’s sights, gave me a sense of hopelessness. That would be precisely the reason our family is going to Los Angeles. Too many people are hopeless in the city. When we visit LA now I feel nothing but a peace and love for a town full of the homeless, Scientologist celebrities and people too wrapped up in themselves to care.

The other day Cameron shared with someone that we were going to move to the city. A Christian person. This person decided instead of encouraging Cameron that a slight warning veiled in Biblical imagery would be appropriate: “Just don’t be like Lot and be LIKE the city.” First of all, no one ever tells the missionary heading into the dark jungles of the Amazon this. When my friend Courtney told me her and her family were going to Peru as missionaries I didn’t admonish her with a warning about being like the lost people of Peru. I cheered her on. Second of all, isn’t a danger anywhere to turn into the people that you’re trying to reach? For instance, if you minister in Orange County, please, for the love of God don’t turn into them. They love money, self-importance and status just as much as an Angelino. Too many Christians are afraid of the city & of culture.

While I have no intention of turning into a pillar of salt, we are heading into the city to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Pray for us.

I cannot say enough about the sermon from last Sunday at Reality LA. So good.

Romans 12:13

^13(AD) Contribute to the needs of the saints and^(AE) seek to show hospitality.

*Click the picture to be taken to the sermon.

The same power that conquered the grave
Lives in me, Lives in me
Your love that rescued the earth
Lives in me, lives in me

Singing this on Sunday morning reminded me of how powerful Christ is. That everything about the gospel is transforming. Everything about falling in love with Jesus and Him rescuing you is BIG. The very power of God that said “I choose to give these humans another chance because I am Love” is the unchangeable power that I accepted into my heart when I was 3.

I went shopping at Old Navy on Saturday and I found a Women’s Camper Style Twill Vest.

So, if you’re a woman on the go who wants to really capture the spirit of Walter Sobchak in your casual wear, this is the vest for you!

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
‘Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Heavy morning. If I don’t write about it, I’ll be wading through the muck of my emotions the rest of the day.

If you read my blog you know that I’m a huge animal lover, as in I give my pets middle names. We also celebrate birthdays and they get Christmas gifts. Today came with a dark cloud (the date seems appropriate enough). Cameron is having Penny, our dog, put to sleep right now. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, it wasn’t fun, it was prayed over, we talked about it often and have made previous vet visits. She was becoming more and more aggressive. She’s gone after other dogs and animals. On top of the aggressive behavior she was in severe pain, even with the meds we gave her. She’s had hip displacia since we got her. She also had arthritis in her joints.

As parents we felt like we were obligated to keep our kids safe even if she has never lashed out at the kids or any other person. We couldn’t let it get to that point. She has always been super sweet with the kids, loved them, played with them and protected them. It’s just too scary to think about what could happen if she got worse. Would I rather feel a little guilty about putting a dog to sleep or would I rather live with the lifetime of guilt for one of my kids being injured by a dog? I know we’ve made the right decision.

Penny was “our” first dog. We got Penny while I was pregnant with Josiah. We had to come all the way out to Corona from Rancho Santa Margarita because no on in Orange County wanted to let a pregnant person adopt a dog. It was also very, very expensive to even get a little dog in OC. I found Penny’s picture online and the price was right, $15. Someone had brought her to the shelter and she was already fixed and had her vaccines. She’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but she was a good companion dog. While we lived with Cameron’s parents she rode in the car everywhere with me, I needed a co-pilot and Penny fit the description. When Josiah arrived she was calm and good natured toward him and was thrilled when he could play with her or pet her. She was sweet to both the kids and I’m sure would have taken a chunk out of any bad guy that tried anything with them. It was her personal duty to protect them in the yard.

It’s hard to be a grown up and to have ugly responsibilities. Especially when it comes to your pets. I’m trying to focus on the positive. I’m glad we were able to rescue Penny, make her comfortable, give her love and lots of treats. Her life could have been far worse. She didn’t have a good chance of being adopted when we picked her out. She was older, bigger and not that great looking. I suppose I should be glad that we were able to give that to her. I think her buddy Earl might be sad for awhile. He loved Penny. I’m not looking forward to the rest of this day.

Even though Penny wasn’t the *best* dog in the world, I’m going to miss her.

Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.  ~George Eliot