Born To Resist

There is this little church girl inside of me who loves dressing up, singing carols and enjoying decorations at church during this time of year. My fondest memories of Christmas always revolve around church activities. The new dress, the recital, the Christmas fellowship. I cannot tell you all the joy I felt running through the hallways of Yucaipa Christian Church and knowing most of the faces I moved past. The church always looked fantastic: the huge trees that stood in our foyer were a highlight.

Singing carols as a congregation was spectacular. It’s something I took for granted, there aren’t many people out in the world that get together weekly to sing together. That’s pretty unique to our subculture of Christianity. How we sang on Christmas Eve! The candles lit, the lights dim and everyone raising their voices to sing familiar carols of our newborn Savior. My favorite was “Fall on Your Knees”. Once at home, my favorite version of the song came from Mr. Nat King Cole. The song seems more of a worship song than a tradition. It doesn’t grow stale and the reverence for the Baby Jesus is resonant.

The first Christmas Cameron and I were married we bought a Christmas CD called Maybe this Christmas. It can only be described as a “somewhat indie” Christmas CD.  I listened to it constantly in my car to and from work. There are fun songs on it, but there is one song that sticks in my heart more than any other Christmas song. Preformed by none other than Pedro the Lion, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Eve” is my perfect Christmas carol.

This version is melancholy and drab. Very simply accompanied by piano & bells. It’s very appropriate if you know the story of the song. The song started as a 7 stanza poem written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in 1864. Written about national tragedy (the Civil War) and personal devastation (his wife, Frances had died 3 years earlier from burns and his son had multiple problems with wounds sustained during the war)*.  The poem was first set to music in 1870 by John Baptiste Calkin. The version we typically hear was written in the 1950’s by Johnny Marks (famous for “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”).

“I Heard the Bells” is not an often heard song. It doesn’t exactly have the level of Christmas joy we are use to when singing during the season.  It’s the story of a man torn apart by his wife’s death and a nation coming apart at the seams. Oh, but the hope of the last stanza! It’s a shining example of the hope of this season:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!

No matter how dark our life is, even in the midst of Christmas, God is brighter. God is bigger. His love runs deeper.

This carol is a testament to the reality of Christmas. Our lives don’t always match the light of Christ’s birth. It’s hard to force  Holiday-joy when you’re losing your home, your spouse leaves you, or your kids are busy messing up their lives. This song is open about despair and the hope that follows. The light that shines no matter how dark we manage to get down here on our planet. We can have hope and light because God did send Jesus and we as human beings have a way out of our muck and mire.  The sound of His grace is always louder than our despair.

* To read more about Henry Wadsworth Longfellow go Here.*

“Christmas Bells”
(The original poem, complete with all seven stanzas)

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Dear Readers,

My husband is going to be a rock legend for Halloween:

Can you guess which one Cam's going to be?

Is it just me or is there a level of creepy resemblance between Cam and Jimmy?

Here’s my terrifying, horrible costume:

**Refrain from Screaming***

I’m dressing as my crazy nemesis: Courtney Love. Look out world!!

Josiah has been enjoying The Nightmare Before Christmas. By enjoying, I mean watching at least 2x’s a day. Nothing quite like your preschooler singing “I am the one hiding under your stairs/fingers like snakes/and spiders in my hair.” Cute, huh? Josiah has discovered the joy of Tim Burton films. He’s also discovered the magic of Danny Elfman’s music. *Danny Elfman/Danny Elfman/this song sounds like/Danny Elfman*

I am going to profess to being a BIG Tim Burton fan, but I have a disclaimer: I am not a Hot Topic Tim Burton fan. I am not the girl with the Jack Skellington fingerless gloves or the Edward Scissorhands poster in my room. I don’t “get” his “isolated” characters that he creates. I am not an emo guy trying to get a date with a girl by professing my love and complete knowledge of all things Tim Burton.

There, with that out of the way I can tell you about my love of Tim Burton films…

If you are close to my age, you probably saw your first Tim Burton movie without even knowing it: Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. It’s a story about a boy and his bike… so simple, so fun, so silly. Who doesn’t say “I know you are, but what am I?” on a daily basis? I know I do.

What better subject for my next Halloween-themed entry on my blog?

Get your crazy-big sunglasses out, tease out your black hair and put on your best gothic look, we’re going over some of my favorite Burton films!

1. Ed Wood

I was a pre-teen the first time I saw Plan 9 From Outer Space. The last time I watched it I was in a theater with other people enjoying it to my kitsch heart’s content a couple of months ago. I have a love/hate relationship with bad movies.  Ed Wood made the Granddaddy of all bad movies (Unless you count THE ROOM!)… PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE! Tim Burton’s slightly euphemistic view of Ed and his crew lets you see the world the way Ed did, without limits and without a need for decent acting in any form. Johnny Depp is fantastic, of course. But did you know he could pull of angora sweaters so well?  Martin Landau’s Bela Lugosi won him an Oscar. This movie is EXCELLENT. Don’t be scared of the black and white film, it adds to the mood of the movie.

2. BIG FISH

What can I say abut this piece of magnificence? I saw this bad boy in the movie theaters 3 or 4 times with my friend Jill. We bought in on DVD the day it came out. I hate to make a list within a list, but I MUST!

Reasons I love Big Fish:

1. Edward Bloom’s incredible line “Sandra Templeton, I love you and I will marry you!”. So, so sweet!  If just that line alone doesn’t get you, he’s standing in a field of daffodils (her favorite flowers) yelling to her in her dorm room.

2. You the viewer get to decide how much of Edward’s story is true.

3. It’s a story about true love. Meaning of course, love that lasts a lifetime with two people falling in love over and over again.

Big Fish doesn’t always look like a Tim Burton movie, but all the signs are there. It’s one of the most touching, romantic and sweet adventure stories I’ve ever seen.

P.S. Ewan McGregor is in it, so that makes it AMAZING.

3.  Vincent

Remember when you were a kid and you got sent to your room? Did you ever become overly dramatic once you were in there? You know, packing your few belongings so you could move in with Grandma because you couldn’t live with your parents any longer? I did that a couple of times… I also would also shiftlessly move about my chamber and drape myself across my bed acting as if I was the heroine in a sad tale of unfair parents. Vincent is a short film (made with stop motion animation) that perfectly encapsulates that childhood woe. It’s spooky narrator is none other than that master of horror himself, Vincent Price!

4. Edward Scissorhands

You aren’t human if you haven’t seen this movie. Sorry. It’s that simple. Please, please, if you haven’t seen it, go out and rent it. Borrow it from me if you must! Edward Scissorhands is perfection. I was in 1st grade or so when I first saw it, and I remember explicitly the feelings that it left me with. It was probably one of the first movies I ever saw that didn’t have typical Hollywood ending.  This movie will stand the test of time and become a classic because of it’s perfect story telling, incredible visuals and it’s pathos-inducing main character, Edward.

5. Sleepy Hollow

Slasher films are not my cup of tea. This isn’t your ordinary slasher film, though. It involves a headless horseman and stunningly stylized gore. The whole movie has very muted colors, almost black and white it seems. The blood is BRIGHT red. It practically jumps off the screen. Fun! Terrible, awful fun! Do you want terrifying? I’ll give you terrifying!  Christopher Walken with teeth filed to razor-points. If that doesn’t give you nightmares, I don’t know what will.

In honor of this spooky month, I want to sprinkle a little terror into a few entries until Halloween. Nothing shocking, just a few nods to what makes Halloween fun for me. I know I touched on that a few entries back, but now is the time to start setting out jack o’ lanterns and ghosties.

My first macabre monograph concerns a TV show from the 1960’s… picture if you will a TV screen in black and white…

… you are now entering…THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

A Futurama Homage to Twilight Zone

I grew up watching The Twilight Zone. I will never forget going to my Aunt & Uncle’s house one Thanksgiving and being upstairs with my cousin, Kison. He was watching the marathon on TV and recording the episodes to videotape. My brother and I took it all in. There’s one episode that I remember more than all the others that day: “The Hitch-hiker“. That was the single scariest thing from my childhood, well, besides the horrifying poster of CRITTERS that was stuck in a corner of our local Video Rental place. I didn’t understand this at the time, but I loved the ambiance that the show gave off. It wasn’t gruesome, it wasn’t shock, it was smart. That one viewing of the Hitch-hiker gave me chills for years. When I got into High school I saw TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE. It’s a retelling of  classic episodes and includes Dan Aykroyd’s scariest role ever (except for the Britney Spears’ movie, Crossroads). I’d watch the show if it happened to be on and enjoyed it with my family members. When I discovered Richard Matheson’s writing, I re-discovered Twilight Zone. After riding Tower of Terror the other day and appreciating a few of the hidden references in the ride, I thought; why don’t I take you through a few of my favorite episodes? Creepy little numbers that make you wonder sometimes if you’ve ever visited the Twilight Zone yourself.

1. The Hitch-hiker

I had to start here of course. My first memory of Rod Serling’s narration. Nan Adams is traveling from Manhattan to Los Angeles on vacation. She keeps seeing this pesky hitch-hiker… he never says anything but he’s terrorizing her nonetheless. He’s showing up in places he shouldn’t be, always with that unreadable expression. His one line “I believe you’re going… my way?” makes you check the locks on your car door next time you head out…

2. The Monsters are Due on Maple Street

I actually read this episode screenplay when I was in Junior High. I hadn’t read a whole lot of horror/suspense  at that point in my life, obviously. I know that I craved more of that type of writing! This episode, like so many other Twilight Zones, is an allegory. The show speaks to the evils of hysteria, racism and how quickly we as humans can turn on one another when panic strikes. It was the perfect “makes you think” episode for the family of the 1960’s.

3.  The Howling Man

Rule Number One: You can catch the devil, but you can’t hold him long.

4.  Nick of Time

Everyone knows William Shatner’s famous line “There’s… something…on… the…wing!” from Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. Not as many people remember this great episode where he’s a newlywed stuck in a town because of a creepy little fortune telling machine that’s complete with a devil bobble head. His character Don, gets sucked into believing that the machine controls his future.

5.  Queen of the Nile

Have you ever wondered why some actresses seem to stay young? Have you ever thought to yourself “Hasn’t she been 35 for at least 10 years now?” If you’ve ever had either of those thoughts, this is the episode for you! It even has some pretty creepy visual effects at the end.

6. The Bewitchin’ Pool

If you were lucky enough to have a pool growing up, like I was, I think you understand this episode a little more. The pool is a place of escape and refuge and imagination to any child. The characters, brother and sister live in a large estate with a huge pool. Appearances are not everything though, they’re parents are boobs. Mom is concerned about looking good and Dad only cares about money. While swimming one day, they are beckoned to follow a young boy under the water. The emerge on another side to a Mark Twain-esque island. Here they find out what it’s like to truly be loved…

7. Miniature

Robert Duvall falls in in love with a miniature at a museum. His family thinks he’s crazy, but he returns the dollhouse where his tiny love lives. It’s a sweet little story and it’s always fun to see a big name movie star have their turn in a Twilight Zone before they were super famous.

8. The Trade-Ins

Another sweet and not so spooky tale about an elderly couple who live in a future where you can trade your elderly body for a young one. The cost? $10,000 for both husband and wife. They only have half that amount. Who will be young and at what cost?

9. Five Characters in Search of an Exit

It’s going to make you feel sorry for the toys you’ve forgotten about. That’s all I’m going to say.

10. The Midnight Sun

The earth is hurtling into the sun and it’s a dangerous world outside for Norma and her landlady, Mrs. Bronson. Water is scarce and people will steal your small supply. Watch as the two women keep each other from going insane in the earth’s last days. Maybe it’s even a very early version of global warming propaganda.

There you go. A few of my favorites. They aren’t the most well known episodes, but they are the ones that stick out to me. I am all about intelligent horror, none of that stupidity branded as torture porn (Hostel, Saw 1-260). The Twilight Zone makes you think, feel and hope. That’s what I’ve always loved about it and I hope it encourages you to take a journey there.

Publicity shot of Twilight Zone creator, Rod Serling.

P.S. You can watch episodes for free at cbs.com

When the crypt goes creak,
And the tombstones quake.
Spooks come out for a swinging wake.
Happy haunts materialize,
And begin to vocalize.
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

-Grim Grinning Ghosts, Theme song from The Haunted Mansion

Yesterday I mentioned Halloween at Disneyland a couple of times. While we were there Josiah tried on the top half of a “Woody” costume. This one minute  event has set off a need for all things Halloween in Josiah’s life. He must have “TRICK OR TREAT!” Yesterday we watched several Disney cartoons that involved Halloween (Lonesome Ghosts, Trick or Treat, The Mad Doctor) we also watched Tim Burton’s short film, Frankenweenie. This morning the madness continues. He woke up and instantly said TRICK OR TREAT, MOM!

Josiah doesn’t know that he’s still got almost 2 months to wait until he can officially TRICK OR TREAT and that most people don’t start preparing for All Hallow’s Eve until about 2 weeks before. The problem with Josiah is that he has Halloween in his blood. Mwahahaha!! I love October 31st. I have two or three Rubbermaid tubs full of decor to prove it. I decorate for Halloween about a month before. I do this for Christmas also… I’m really gung-ho about holidays in general. Oh, but Halloween, you wonderful, magical, horrible night! I love dressing up, I love scary  movies, I love fall time, I love candy. The feeling of it all just makes me tingle. Over exaggerating ? Nah, not me.

Shall I clarify something before moving on? I’m not a blood thirsty, demonic, Satan worshipping Halloween celebrator. I know that many of my Christian friends might be a little taken aback by my brazen enjoyment of what some call “The Devil’s Birthday”. Dear friends, a little spooky doesn’t take away my salvation. In fact, as an adult I see Halloween as giving the devil the ole’ middle finger. Dangerous you might say. Nah, I’ve got the big Man in the sky on my side. I’m not going to shy away of a few black spiders, Vincent Price movies and fake cobwebs because some people have decided to make Halloween truly evil. I do realize that people take Halloween too far and I know it’s origins. I take precautions for my children and for our home that night. If you as a believer aren’t comfy with the holiday, fine. I don’t have a problem with that. I’ve just always had a problem with people who try to condemn me (or my family) for enjoying Halloween in probably the most sanitized way possible.

Phew, with that off my chest I can reveal all the secrets of my love for this holiday…

My parents deserve kudos for many things in our childhood. You want to know what they were best at? HOLIDAYS. Whether it was my mom putting curlers in my hair for Easter morning, my Dad climbing ladders for Christmas lights or Mom staying up all hours of the night putting finishing touches on our killer Halloween costumes. Even we didn’t have tons of moolah, us kids weren’t aware of it. My parents were creative and we had fun no matter what. We always attended our church’s Harvest Carnival (aren’t they always called that or “TRUNK OR TREAT”?).  We didn’t dress up as anything scary, but we always had awesome costumes. We would watch every terrible movie on AMC during Monsterfest. I was also introduced to Hammer Horror films starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Nothing says Halloween to a 12 year girl like a British horror film! I grew up watching classic horror, all the Universal movies, silent films with Lon Chaney, Alfred Hitchcock movies, etc. As we got older we watched “newer” classics like Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th. Most of them are terrible, but perfect for the season. We never watched anything gruesome or blatantly gory .  That’s not what Halloween was about. It was about fun. It was about creating a feeling during a short season. One of my favorite memories was when we were allowed to go to Pic N Save (remember that place?) and pick out scary costume make-up. We came home with gobs of green face paint, Dracula fangs,  spirit gum and Wolfman hair. That night we were transformed! All six of us looked like the Munsters long lost relatives!  That one night is one of my most cherished childhood memories.

I could almost name every character, princess, & person I’ve been on Halloween. Among my favorites: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Egyptian Queen, Poodle Skirt girl, Peter Pan, Fairy, Lydia from Beetle-juice, pirate and of course, Wayne from Wayne’s World. Best. Ever. Talicia and I dressed up as the titular characters for my first College Halloween. We stayed in character while working the Church Carnival. Man, we looked good pulling into the church parking lot in Talicia’s old car blaring “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

As a parent I’ve tried to make sure that my kids enjoy any holiday no matter their age. Josiah had all the fixins’ on his first Christmas despite being 3 weeks old. Kids are people that are so much more aware of everything then we give them credit for- make it extra special for them on holidays! Josiah’s first Halloween was a blast, we dressed him in green tights, Peter Pan costume and took him out for a night on the town! Last year he was a dinosaur and his sister (a scant 2 1/2 months old) rode along as a spider. Halloween was a full day last year. I took the kids to Babies R Us first thing and had them Trick or Treat in store. We watched fun movies and baked cookies. Cameron came home early and we packed up the stroller and headed out into our neighborhood. Then we packed up the car and drove to my parent’s house to Trick or Treat. I was fried by the end of the night. Cameron and I fell asleep on the couch watching some old movie. It was the best ending to the day.

Halloween isn’t truly upon us yet, but I’m counting. I’m actually going to make a calendar for Josiah to count down the days because he keeps asking me when he can Trick or Treat. I’m already planning their costumes and getting ready for the big night. I love being a Mom and giving my kids every opportunity to be kids and use their imaginations in every way possible.

Halloween 2009.

When I was in 9th grade I read a book that changed my life: No Compromise: The Life of Keith Green. I was a little late in being a part of the Jesus Freak movement… but at least I could read about it!
This book helped to fuel the fire of me truly dedicating my life to Jesus. I had been a Christian since I was 4 and as a teenager I really wanted to be a shining light for Christ. I discovered the book on a shelf somewhere in my old home church. It was an older copy with Keith Green on the cover. I thought “I have to read this story about this afro’d man!” I picked it up and for a couple weeks carried it with me everywhere, read it and re-read it. I started listening to Keith’s music and found a timeless form of worship. His piano playing was incredible. I hesitate to compliment the man himself because he didn’t like that- he wanted it to be all about Jesus. Keith Green and his wife, Melody impacted my life on the most basic of levels. Reading that book changed my Christian walk. That’s only a few books that have done that for me. Maybe I’ll list them heres someday.

Cameron has a co-worker named Julie who is very sweet. I see her every few months when I come by the office. She loves to see the kids and visit for a bit (plus she always has candy out by her desk!) She use to work with Keith Green at his ministry offices. Yesterday we came to the Refinery for lunch with Sydney and JD and we stopped by the office to see Cameron. I was talking to Julie and she looks at Josiah and says “You know who he reminds me of?” “Who?” “Keith Green’s Josiah.” I didn’t remember that his son was named Josiah. This really hit a soft spot in my heart. Josiah died in the plane crash that killed his father and sister. He was 3.

I dropped Josiah off at my parent’s house yesterday and have been alone with Mae all day doing housework. I finally stopped and wanted to find a picture of Josiah Green. His little face made me cry. He doesn’t look exactly like my Josiah- but his blonde messy curls do. Looking at Keith Green’s pictures and reading about his legacy has given me a renewed sense of purpose in my life. Just in one short afternoon. I’ve been listening to my favorite songs with Mae. I really feel like I should write a note to Melody Green and let her know that my life was changed by her and her husband. I also want to tell her there’s another little blonde, curly headed Josiah running around who will grow up listening to the music of her late husband and worshipping the Jesus that he loved so much.

**For those of you that don’t know who Keith Green is please go here: www.lastdaysministries.org***