Born To Resist

My Dad is the clean water business. His company builds tanks that filter drinking water. Quite a few of these tanks are located in Asia. I think as Americans we really take clean water for granted. We even have different levels of what kind of water we like and don’t like. We prefer one brand to another. Aren’t we snots? In most of the world clean water is a desperate need, and when I got an e-mail this morning from PGeSaver, I had to share it with you:

P&Ge Saver coupons load right on your “shoppers card” and they come off automatically when you buy the product. I load all of the coupons on my Vons club card. It’s an easy way to help those in need.

I really want to just share something with you all- old pictures. Pictures of  B.C. (before Cameron). Pictures of a magical time when I listened to Dashboard Confessional, named my car after characters in obscure indie films and worked in Cabazon.

Selection #1: My Bedroom circa 2004.

I picked this one for a good reason. I want people to know what I was into when I was 19. Mostly Ewan McGregor, but there’s others in there if you look. I also want people to know that I found it important to document my bedroom. Not anyone in my bedroom, but just my bedroom walls. IMPORTANT! Here’s a few other items that were crucial to my well being in my room:

• Black and White pictures of my modeling photo session with none other than Mr. Nick A. Garcia.
• A picture of Talicia and I running on the beach.
• Probably pictures of Jill and I.
• I’m pretty sure that’s a calendar with pictures of cats. BOOYA.
• Yes, I do have an 8×10 photo of Gregory Peck on my desk, didn’t you?
• That would be a Kewpie doll. In all it’s naked glory.
• BOOKS! Frank Sinatra, Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Swell! A Girl’s Guide to the Good Life. I thought it was 1963. Sorry.
• Last, but certainly not least: A signed Michael Buble album. Before he was a huge fancy  star, Talicia and I ordered his album and they were signed if you pre-ordered them. I wonder where that autograph is? I just looked on ebay and his autograph is going for about $100.00…

Selection #2: My closet door with me in the picture wearing a beautiful MxPx hoodie.

I did love me some MxPx. Apparently I also loved Big Fish. Casey Affleck and  Catherine O’Hara. Other things I spy in this picture: Joaquin Phoenix’s head taped on a picture of a guy that was wearing a patch that said something along the lines of “I don’t have a car. I don’t have a job. But I’m in a band.” That really tickled my funny bone. I have Jack Black and Molly Shannon dancing in a picture taped to a picture of my friend Nick and me. Clearly I was big into the art of collage. I was going to change the world by cutting things out and taping them together artfully.

Selection #3: Lola and I.

Awesome things about this picture? LOLA STILL HAD FOUR LEGS! That is fantastic. Not so fantastic: My blue hair. I had dyed my own hair black and it faded to blue. Cool. I use to shop at Hot Topic! Look at that Goonies shirt I’m sporting. I also had a cool cuff watch for ladies. This must have been right after I turned 20 because I got that shirt for my birthday. I look at this picture and just think about how much Lola and I love each other.

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST! THE BEST OF ALL:
PICTURE #4

IT’S ME SMOKING! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? SHOCKING!!

I use to really enjoy smoking Swisher Sweets. I would do it on occasion and always with friends. This was also my phase of really loving Good Will Hunting, I’ll let that explain my hat.

My parents had grip loads of pictures were not allowed to look at until we were old enough because they were all pictures of them partaking of certain substances/drinks, etc. Here is THE ONE picture my kids can’t see until they’re older. It’s pretty shocking. I will also tell them about the one time I let a guy buy me a drink in a bar and the story of when I smoked a clove in LA after seeing The Vines and Jet!!!  I know, I know. It’s hard to imagine that I, Leigh, would do such things. The truth is hard to deal with at times.

That was pretty self-indulgent of me to post these pictures. It was fun though. I’m not going to lie.

Tomorrow my posts will have a bit more meat to them.

What the what? Another decade just zipped right by me. I could have sworn Y2K was still a concern. I can’t believe how fast 10 years goes by. I was just a teenager in the year 2000 (the future, Conan?) and at the end of the decade, I’m a married mother of 2. BOING. That just happened. I could write a thousand lists about what went down in the last 10 years, but I won’t. Instead I will let you all know what’s on my heart for this new year/new decade.

We just got back from a trip to Lake Havasu to visit our friends, The Bairds. Nichole and I were roommates in Bible College and have stayed connected. We both got married the same year, had our kids at the same time (Josiah and Micah are 12 days apart, Mae and Seth are 12 days apart), and basically enjoy each other’s company. Her husband, Adam is a very laid-back guy who gets along with my laid-back guy, Cameron. Our kids are buds and look forward to whenever we get together. While I was at their house, I picked up Nichole’s copy of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I read that book in Bible College (it was actually Nichole’s copy) and I felt like I had found a Christian book for me! Woohoo! Picking it up again, I realized that I hadn’t really been reading very many Christian books. I’m not terribly fond of pink and floral designed book covers that are all about being the woman God made you to be. That’s just not my type of reading. Chalk that up to my inability to properly use coasters or make crafts with silk flowers. Reading Blue Like Jazz made me yearn for a good Christian read. Reading that book 5 years ago made a huge difference in my walk with God. Now I know in this decade, I have to continue that growth. Obviously the only place to find real food is the Bible. I have been going every week to Harvest’s Women Bible Study (there’s a little bit of that lace and doily nonsense, but I deal with it to get to the meat and potatoes of God’s word) and it’s great to have weekly Bible homework that digs deep. I think that for me, a life-long Christian, you get this delusional idea that you know everything about God’s word because you’ve been surrounded by it your whole life (FLANNEL GRAPHS TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE BIBLE). I am so very wrong in this thinking. I heard a couple of sermons about the book of Proverbs and the pursuit of wisdom. Not knowledge my friends, but wisdom. I want to ask questions of people about their hobbies, their spirituality, their families, their marriages, what good books they’ve read, etc.  I’m going to stop assuming that I know everything about Jesus and live a life that is all about learning and knowing more. That’s one of my New Decade resolutions. Chasing God the way He’s chased me.

If there is a verse that haunts every Christian bride to be, it’s Proverbs 31. I MUST BE MORE VALUABLE THAN RUBIES!! We sort of wear it like a banner or we fear it because we don’t know if we live up to being a wife of noble character. This year I want to make it practical to be a wife of noble character. Maybe a little bit at a time I’ll go through the verse and see what I can come up with in a very modern, every day way. Here’s a few of my ideas for being a good wife worthy of the title (and priced high above rubies):
-Be Frugal. I think quite a few of us are on our way, but let’s be wise with the money. (“She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.”- I saved money on grocery bill’s yesterday by driving to three stores…)

- Be Generous. How do I teach my kids to give back? By being generous myself. The best time to give is when you feel like you don’t have enough. Give your money, your time, your kid’s toys that they don’t need. Just GIVE. (She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.)

- Be Prepared. My friend Nichole that I spoke of earlier, is the most prepared person I know. She is intense. She is stocked up on everything that she needs in her house because she plans ahead. I really love that about her, she inspires me to not be last minute Leigh. (When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.)

-Be an encourager of your husband. When you first met your husband, weren’t you his biggest fan? I know I was totally captain of the Cameron Cheer Squad. So what happened? Did the reality of it all make you leave the cheer squad?  I would say to all of you wives: Squeeze back into that skirt and be a Cheerio again! Pardon my Glee reference. Trust me. It feels a lot better to talk well of him in front of friends and with girlfriends than to complain about him. (Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.)

-Be Funny. I enjoy a good sense of humor. Women- are you all listening??? Don’t get caught up on “keeping sweet” and not having a good time. You will keep the rest of life in perspective if you have a good sense of humor about it.  (she can laugh at the days to come.)

-Be a Mom. Relish your blessing. You were given a gift and a person to take care of by God. Make everyday count and don’t sweat the small stuff. (Her children arise and call her blessed;)

Really, if you look at all of these concepts in Proverbs 31, they all tie together. To be frugal you must be prepared, to be generous, you must be frugal in other areas of your life. To encourage your husband you have to often have a sense of humor.

Alright kids… Happy New Year, Happy New Decade, I have stuff to do.

My special time of the month is not always part and parcel with bizarre mood swings. Tonight it is. I feel a little “teenagery” and want to lock myself in the office and only listen to music from my days of being a sad, artsy college student. I’m jumping from one website to the next. I’m looking at pictures online. I’m reading old blog entries. I’m feeling slightly over-exposed and a little misunderstood. All hormones of course.

I love knowing I’m crazy, but only for 4-7 days.

Uh, Fall time? Where are you? Have you been kidnapped by terrible California Weather? Can I just say that I hate living in California during this time of the year? I can deal with heat during Summer time, but when it’s hot here during Fall/Winter I hates it! I want to put up my ridiculous amount of fall foliage decor and I cannot because I have to run my A/C up to wazoo. No amount of Pumpkin Spice latte, pumpkin candles or Halloween preparation can make up for the 100 degree weather.  Please don’t be one of those people who moves to California from say, Michigan and start going on and on about how much you love it here. I don’t care how much snow you’ve shoveled in your lifetime. I want weather to be appropriate to the time of year. I should be wearing cardigans and cute little boots right now. Not flippy-floppies and sundresses.

Please come soon cool weather. I need you. Or I might permanently relocate to Seattle or somewhere with fall time.

Seattle+Scarves+Fall time=Perfect

Eight years. Wow. That almost seems impossible. It almost seems surreal for it to have happened that long ago/not that long ago.  I almost didn’t write today because what else could I have possibly blogged about today? I can’t skirt the main issue of the day when it was a huge day that changed the way we as a country live.

I was a Senior in high school. A brand new Senior. Maybe 2-3 weeks into my year. It was going to be quite the year. I was in Student Council, I was excited for all things YHS related. That Tuesday morning I woke up to my radio alarm just like I always did on KKLA. I woke up to J. Vernon McGee, an old preacher that my Grandma Berry listened to when I was growing up. His voice was unique and perfect for waking me up early. Only that morning it wasn’t him- it was the news anchor. He was talking about a bomb that went off in the world trade center. I walked out to say something to my parents and the TV was already on. I turned the corner and that’s when I saw the other plane hit. What the?!? I got in the shower and when I came out they had shots of the Pentagon on fire. On the way to school in my Dad’s car I heard Peter Jennings go silent when the first tower fell. School was buzzing with all sorts of scenarios. Why are we so good at gossip in high school? There were more planes, LA had been hit, The White House had been hit. For the first time in my life there were TVs on in my classrooms. It’s strange because I only remember bits and pieces from the rest of that day- but that morning is still crystal clear. I’m pretty sure we went to youth group that night.

The rest of my high school year was very patriotic. Our homecoming had floats that all honored our country, we said the Pledge of Allegiance every week, people wore their red, white and blue. I guess even high schoolers aren’t immune to fair-weather patriotism. What a bizarre new world to navigate. We had no idea what this meant to all of us that day- we were on the brink of adulthood. We were on that edge, not unlike Holden Caufield. We didn’t have time to dilly dally now, we had to grow up. We had to grow up fast. There were going to be friends sent to war, which before that morning seemed like something you only saw on History Channel, Forest Gump or The Wonder Years.

Four years later we went to DC and NYC on our Honeymoon. We visited the Pentagon on a cloudy, windy day. We took the metro after going to Arlington Cemetery (where there were two military funerals going on). I was nervous about asking where we could go- have you ever asked someone with an automatic weapon for directions? It’s a little intimidating. We were told we could walk around the building to the point of impact. You could clearly make out the plane’s entry point. The lime wasn’t as dark or worn. We sat there and just stared. There wasn’t a memorial yet, so we made our own in our silence. I believe it was the second day we were in New York that we got on the subway to go to Ground Zero. The station there is brand new (or it was) and well lit. Tiles painted by children decorate the walls… they say things like “I miss you Daddy.” “I’ll always love you Mommy.” Did you know there are people outside at Ground Zero trying to sell their “souvenirs” of 9/11? They have photo albums that they discreetly try to get you to purchase. No different than the guy in Times Square trying to sell me a pashmina. I berated one guy for his lack of sensitivity on the issue and then ignored the rest. What’s the point? Cameron and I were very quiet while circling the fence. I really don’t think you can begin to imagine the size of this place without being there. I couldn’t believe it. It was still a construction site. That day we ate next door to where the towers were and had our New York slice. I still have their menu that says “Grand Re-Opening after 9-11″. I think that says more about our country than any flag shirt or memorial service.

You know why this day hurts so much? For me it isn’t because I take it personally as an American. I take it personally as a human being. Human life is precious and wonderful. We are incredulous when one of us takes the life of another. How could we fathom when a few take many? We could go down that whole road of what drove these men to do this, but I know the simple answer. Evil. Evil exists in this world just as surely as good does. We saw good that day, too. Don’t forget that. We saw men and women running into a building to save people and they never came running back out. We heard about others on a plane sacrificing their own lives for the protection of others. This isn’t just a great American story, that’s just where it happened, this is a great human story about loss and sorrow and hope and finding our footing again.

I’ve been mulling it over for quite some time, but today is the day that I’m going to start really getting down to business in the dieting realm. Mae is now weaned and my body is mine to deal with! Thats’ quite the exciting prospect after 3 1/2 years of either being pregnant or nursing a baby. I know that it’s time for me to buckle down and be good. I know better when I eat the things I eat. I have the knowledge, it’s just applying it. I know how bad all the refined, sugary, salty, terrible food is. I know how God intended our bodies to eat, it’s just denying my overwhelming sense of “just this one time” about a brownie which turns into all the time. I look at friends who have had babies and don’t look any different. They can still wear bikinis and don’t have stretch marks up to wazoo. That kills me! But why hasn’t it killed me enough to do something about it? I’m not sure.  Probably because I’m the one that would rather lay in bed and read than hop on a treadmill. During our vacation this year we stayed in Mammoth and with our cabin rental came free access to the Athletic Club. My sister and I went the few days we were up there and I felt so good! I slept better, I had more energy, etc. (All those dumb things that do happen when you exercise.) Why couldn’t I keep it up? Was it the lack of novelty because I wasn’t in Mammoth at a really nice sports club?

I have to find my motivation somewhere in all of this and I think I might be on to something. My kids don’t deserve a mom with health problems that are aggravated by weight issues. That goes for the present and for the future. Someday I’m going to be an old woman and if I don’t want to be an old woman with heart problems, diabetes, etc. I am going to have to work at it now. As for the present I need all the energy I can get and I can’t get that energy from Del Taco burritos. (Shocking, I know!) I need to be out and about and working all this extra jiggly off. It’s really time for me to rise to the occasion. I’m only 25 and I need my body to feel like I’m 25. My goal is simple, to get to a healthy weight and tone up some of this mom tummy action. I have some brutal stretch marks on my stomach and I want to see if toning my belly will help ease their dramatic look. This might be the little bit of Orange County in me talking, but eventually I’d really like to have my stretch marks removed.  Ahh… that’ll be the day.

My husband has recently lost a grip load of weight. His motivation? I gave him the green light on a motorcycle once we can afford it. I had been telling him “No” on the motorcycle idea for a long time. I had also been pestering him about his eating habits (pot calling the kettle black). Then on Easter Sunday this year I had a brillant idea! “If you lose this much weight you can buy a motorcycle. You have my blessing.” A pinky promise was made. Guess who has lost almost 20 pounds? Guess who feels better? Who looks really hot in those black skinny jeans? MY HUSBAND! I think it’s time that I match his enthusiasm and start looking hot in my skinny jeans.

My freshman year of college I lost about 40 pounds total. I know that’s the opposite of what most freshman do. But my mom and I went to a weight loss group at church called Prism. Most people who weren’t involved but knew about it called it PRISON. It was tough. No carbs whatsoever for the first six weeks. Only 2000 calories a day. Nothing fried or baked in oil. Lots of healthy veggies, chicken, drinking water like no one’s business. Not only did we lose weight, we felt so good. I’ve never felt more healthy in my life. This will be my strategy starting today. No bad/processed food if I can help it and no carbs. Good bye jiggly! Don’t worry, it’s not the Atkins diet, it’s more like purifying your eating habits over time and re-training yourself to think about food as fuel, not entertainment.  I’m not even going to have to give up on my coffee… it has hardly any calories when you don’t pack it full of creamer and sugar. I’m not big on that already, I sometimes drink it black. When I do add to it, it’s usually 2% or non-fat milk. I’m going to get my nalgene bottle down and chug water like it’s going out of style.  I’m going to start walking to help tone myself… I wish I could read and walk. Maybe I could get a couple of audio books and put them on my iPod. Yes! That’s the ticket. Why haven’t I thought of that before?? Because I’m lazy. That’s why. I’m going to just throw that out in the open, I’m not into physical exercise. Sorry. I am however into increasing the quality of not only my life, but my kid’s life ( and my hubby’s sex life )

Earlier this year, when I had my gallbladder removed I swore up and down that I wouldn’t eat poorly anymore. Wow. How did that excruciating pain not stick with me? Gallstones feel a lot like labor pains, but up around your chest. How did I forget how terrible it was to be in the hospital with that? I need it to remind me to eat better. I might just hang up the pictures I have of those gallstones. It might sound strange, but if I can see those little boogers looking at me everyday, I might just have my daily reminder.

In my quest for health and a better life I need to remember most of all that God gave me this body. It’s not mine to mistreat. It’s his temple and I need to throw a few things out. I need to “gut” the building so to speak.

I know this passage is technically about sexual immorality, but it seems to work for this, too:

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6

I’m off for the day. Pray that I’m strong and pray that I’m constantly reminded of why I need to stop being lazy.

Thanks.

I’m really good at following rabbit holes into internet Wonderlands. Today I was searching for a good quote about a character in THE STAND. I know it’s nerdy, I know I’ve blogged more than once about this book, but if you read this book you’ll understand why I love it so very much. I have other books that I love, like East of Eden, Sweet Thursday, The Lovely Bones, Lullaby… but it’s really easy to walk out into the internet world and find crazy Stephen King fans. I did that today. I found this little gem:

You see, someone out there is pretending to be Randall Flagg (the head bad guy in THE STAND) and has a blog & a Twitter account. I wasn’t terribly impressed by it until I found this picture of Mother Abigail (the head of the “good guys” in the book). It made me laugh, it just seemed like a little bit of post-apocalyptic propaganda against the Free Zone. I was a little miffed  though that Randall Flagg does have internet access after the world has fallen apart… picky picky me.

UPDATE: Apparently this whole “acting out THE STAND on Twitter business isn’t new. There were even articles about it in WIRED: (http://www.wired.com/geekdad/tag/the-stand)

There are several people playing all the prominent characters. Interesting.

I just wanted to let everyone know that my most recent blog entry is so long because I’m trying to write at least 1,000 words a day. I thought it was going to be really, really easy. Phew, I was wrong. I got stuck around 500 words. I got up, got a cup of ice coffee and banana. (FOR THE STRENGTH TO KEEP…GOING!) With Josiah playing Lego beside me and Mae sleeping in her crib I kept on. I made it. It’s not a terribly flattering blog. It’s not an easy read. But I made it to over 1,000 words. (Something I did in high school and college without batting an eye). My grammar and structure needs work, but that comes with practice.
During my recent “reading injury” recovery I finished reading two books CELL (the book that put me into my present back situation) and “On Writing” which is Stephen King’s book on how to write. I wasn’t reading it for inspiration. I was reading it out of curiosity. Despite my muscle relaxed haze, I was inspired and have made a commitment to write everyday either here or in one of my journals. So… I give you my first entry out of that inspiration. Comment away!

I’ve been in bed for the past couple of days. While that could have been a brief vacation for some, it was a recooperation for me. You see my dear blog readers, I injured myself. Was I doing something dangerous you might ask? Was I working out? Was I lifting one of my children? My answer would be none of the above. Friends, I hurt myself reading a book. You don’t get my nerdier than that (unless the book I was reading had been a graphic novel or Tolkein)! We had returned from the library and running errands. The kids were both asleep so I seized the moment and grabbed my book. I sat on the bed, wasn’t quite comfy…primed my butt for another move down our bed… POP! In that one “butt swoosh” as I told the urgent care PA, my back turned into a hive of pain. Busy with stabbing, warmth and numbness running down both legs. Mae was asleep next to me so I had to control my outburst. “Fudge-sicles!” is what I could muster. I had to think in PG. I certainly was at the level of “R”-rated outburst. I’ve hurt my back before and it gives me problems. Most notably the first Christmas we were married. We were working in the nursery two days before Christmas and I picked up a baby the wrong way. We spent that night in the ER. I spent Christmas Eve doped up on Vicodin. Happy 1st married Christmas together! You should see the pictures!
Cameron once again has been a trooper. For whatever reason this has been my year for injury and illness. He’s stayed home and is working from here. Keeping Mae busy and bringing her to me sometimes. Josiah is at my parent’s house.

We don’t have a TV in our bedroom. I never would have imagined that I could be “laid up” in bed without the boob tube! I feel better without it. I’ve been reading quite a bit. I finished the book that left me in this state.(CELL, for those of you who were wondering. Maybe God was punishing me for reading another horror novel) I even wrote in a PAPER journal! I have a cat that I rescued who has been at the foot of the bed the whole time. I named her Nadine. I think she might be a “he”. If that’s the case I might name it Zombie or something creepy. There were zombies in the book I was reading when I crashed and burned.
I will be heading to the chiropractor soon. There I will have my back adjusted and the new chiro will marvel at the extra disc in my spine (I’m a mutant, not unlike Wolverine). Then I should start working out to keep everything in shape and to keep my spine in from cracking in half. That way no other reading related mishaps can claim my time!